there are so many sides to me.
i drink Mountain Dew and hot tea
i change minute after minute and hour after week.
contradicktions too
i endulge in my newest of finds of loving ugly patterns and a language that beats. my tounge a drumstick.
but nostalgia grows in the way i wear my 2015 Nike frees and the body hair that sprouts. bloop bloop bloop. i shave it because of reasons. secrets i keep to myself. i shave it because of reasons that arent always mine. I itch for it and irritate for it. and sometimes get red for it. it?
i have a compact marble in my head that stays away from the rest of my marbles but shows itself in times of needed "professionalism" and in times of self doubt. it calls itself "correct" and shows to be angular.
but its a marble. what the fuck. I have marbles in my head.
i am learning to spit in honesty. I took an improv class a few months back, but i think im learning from myself and a few other people what true improv is. one marble at a time falls out of my sinuses and i spit it out without an aim.
rub my back for way too long and share way too much until I say stop. And make it a surprise.
But also when we're out in public I'm in charge. greed is wove into my scalp and I'm trying to claw at it to detangle. My nails are made of mindfulness and art, but sometimes even that has rivets of greed and flaw. I tell you I have intention. I tell you I love. I tell myself I'll be satisfied. But I don't know if I want that either.
I drink Mountain Dew and hot tea. but neither of them are water.
an installation at my home in North Dakota.